How to Ask Evans Out For Dummies
by Live Fast Die Never
Summary: [He then took of his robes swirling and he looked quite like the brooding hero type that couldn’t be with the woman he loved.] James gets some advice on how to ask Lily out from his fellow Marauders. LJ


James stared at the ground as he picked at his nails. "I don't know what to do…"

Sirius raised an eyebrow and said in a bored tone; "Why not? It's not like you haven't asked her out before."

James groaned. "This time is different. This time… she might say yes."

Sirius sat up straight. "You think?"

"Yes." James answered.

Remus looked up from his book. "Well, then I guess that it's a good thing you're seriously considering this."

James nodded. "I just… I don't know how to ask her."

Peter shrugged as he put his Chocolate Frog Cards in orderly piles. "You could always ask her out the same way you always do."

Sirius shook his head. "No, I have a much better idea…"

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_James walked down the hall bravely a determined look in his eyes. He walked up to Lily and said bravely. "I've got a question for you."_

_Lily looked at him with a wide-eyed look of wonder. "I've been waiting for you to ask me something."_

_James took a deep breath and said; "Hit it!"_

_A leprechaun jumped out and began to recite a poem. _

"_Oh dearest Lily that I love,_

_Lately you've looked like a dove._

_I, James, wish to date you,_

_I'm sure you want to date me too._

_Let's go out together,_

_And it will be forever._

_Lily I love you so!"_

_The leprechaun then did a little jig, flipped up in the air, did a couple somersaults and some cartwheels before saying; "I bid you a due Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans. I hope your days together are filled with happiness, joy, love, and better poetry than that disaster." He clicked his heels together and said; "There's no place like home!" Then disappeared in a magically poof._

_Lily fanned herself with her hand. "Oh my, I never thought that you would ask! I love you so much James!"_

_James let out a loud and annoying whoop of joy and said; "You won't regret this."_

"_I know I won't. This is forever!" She answered with wonder._

_James looked at her shock on his face. "Forever… right…"_

"_Oh I love you so much!" She said and gave him a big wet kiss._

_James pushed her away and said; "Well, this was fun… but- oh gee, is that Professor Dumbledore calling for me?" He put his hand behind his ear faking to listen to a distance noise. Lily repeated his action with an innocent look on her face. James nodded sadly. "I'm afraid it is. Shame… I'll have to go now."_

"_I'll miss you my love!" She called after him and then walked off dazed and fell down a flight of stairs on her way to class… and maybe she got kicked a couple times too…_

_James on the other hand ran off and realized that Lily just wasn't that great because she was clingy and annoying._

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"And that's why asking Lily out is a terrible idea!" Sirius answered with a proud smile.

Remus let out a little laugh. "Weren't you telling him how to ask Lily out?"

Sirius sighed; "Well, that's how it started out, but now we know where it ends up."

"I think James will be safe if he doesn't use a leprechaun." Peter answered with a grin. "It was creative though."

James sighed. "What was that poetry?!"

"Oh, that was me mocking you." Sirius answered. "I've read you're poems and they really are that bad mate, you might want to stop writing them."

"I don't write poetry." James answered giving Sirius a strange look.

Sirius shrugged. "Good, and you shouldn't because now we know what that will be like."

"I'm not going to use that method to ask Lily out, and yes I am going to ask Lily out." James informed Sirius with a glare.

"I've got an idea!" Peter said with a grin.

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_James Potter approached Lily Evans with a nervous look. This was going to be hard, but worth it entirely. He walked over to her and said; "Lily, I have a question for you."_

"_Really?" Lily asked with a curios look._

_James took a deep breath and said; "Lily, we've known each other for a long time and I think we should finally give it to our feelings for each other. I love you, and I know you feel the same way so I ask you now; Lily Evans, will you go out with me?"_

_Lily patted James on the shoulder. "I don't think so. I mean, sure we've got all this sexual tension and all, but really you can't give me too much more than that." She gave him a sad look. "I'm looking for a guy who can give me what I really need, and I don't think you can."_

"_But wait." James said with a voice that sounded like he was trying to sell something. "I've brought you something that is what you really need." He then produced a muffin from behind his back._

_Lily grinned and jumped up and down. "A muffin! You got me a muffin!" She grabbed it from his hands and said; "I will treasure this forever."_

"_I'd kind of hoped you'd eat it actually." James answered with a small smile._

_Lily smiled back and say; "Of course I will." She took one big bite and swallowed it whole. "James, I think this can work out! I will go on a date with you!"_

_James jumped up and clicked his heels together. "Oh Lily, Let's go off on our date now! We can eat muffins all night long!"_

"_I can't think of any better way to spend my day." She linked arms with James and the two skipped off in search of their muffins._

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"Muffins?" Sirius questioned.

"Muffins?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"Muffins?!" James said in confusing. "What is with the MUFFINS?!"

Peter shrugged. "I like muffins."

James shook his head. "I don't care if you like muffins, this isn't about you… and I am not asking Lily out with muffins."

"Why not it could work."

James groaned and said; "I need the perfect way to get Lily to go out with me and Muffins and Leprechauns are not the ways to go."

Sirius turned to Remus; "Hey, you must have an idea."

Remus shook his head. "Not really…"

"We said our ideas." Peter told Remus with a grin. "Besides, you have got to have one, you've always got plans."

"I don't think so." Remus answered as he turned back to his book.

Sirius sighed. "Come on Remus!"

Remus sighed. "Fine…"

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_James watched Lily sit outside by a tree, her hair billowing in the wind. He took a deep breath and walked over to her trying to keep his confidence up. He tapped her on the shoulder lightly._

_She turned and smiled at him. "Hi."_

"_Hi." James said and took in a deep breath. "Lily, I've been meaning to ask you something."_

"_You have?"_

_James nodded and took another deep breath; "Lily… I know I've asked you before and you've turned me down for various reasons… but I've got to ask; Will you go out with me?"_

_She smiled. "I know you've matured and I know that you care, you've shown it to me. So, this time yes. I will go out with we."_

_James grinned at her and-_

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"It's perfect Remus! You've found the perfect way for me to ask Lily out." James said with a grin. "You are the gre"-

"I'm not done yet!" Remus snapped.

James quickly shut up and listened to the rest of the tale

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_James grinned at her and took her hand in his. "I've liked you for a long time."_

"_I know." Lily answered. "You were just too immature for me. I now know that you've grown up and I think that we will work out well together."_

_James looked down in shame. "We can't stay together. I have to… I can't be with you."_

"_Then why did you ask me out?" Lily asked in disbelief._

_James released her hand. "Because I cared too much, but things are too difficult and it's better that we aren't close. It's better that you hate me."_

"_But James…" Lily began._

_James shook his head sadly. "No. I have to go."_

_He then took of his robes swirling and he looked quite like the brooding hero type that couldn't be with the woman he loved._

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James sighed. "Well, now you've gone and ruined it."

"It's not ruined." Remus answered with a pout. "I liked it."

James groaned. "I know exactly what you all did. You turned me asking Lily out into your own stories."

The three looked at James with shocked and offended looks saying.

"What?!"

"I would never!"

"Of course we didn't."

James sighed; "Sirius, you started out mocking me and turned it into leaving because Lily wanted to commit. Peter you started out asking her okay in a normal way, then you brought food into it because you love food and figure that any girl who likes food is a keeper. Remus, yours was the best until you turned it into your own dark and depressing tale where you can't stay with her because you are too dangerous."

"Maybe we did turn it into our own…" Remus answered. "Maybe you should just ask he out with your own idea."

Peter nodded. "Be yourself, if she likes it then you know that you two are a good couple, because you were yourself."

"Don't ask her out." Sirius said. "I know that my story was right mate, and you don't want that."

James rolled his eyes. "You know what, I'm going to ask Lily out."

Remus nodded towards the Common Room Entrance where Lily was no walking in. "Well, here is your chance."

James nodded with a grin. "Yes it is. I have a good feeling about this, I think she'll say yes."

"Good luck." Said Peter.

Remus smiled. "Yeah, good luck."

Sirius shook his head. "Nope, bad luck!"

James let out a small laugh and walked over to Lily.

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**Authors Note:**

This was a challenge from _The Final Prophecy_ it was a Fanfiction Exchange and here are the guidelines:

**What would you like in your fic?** Silliness. Most preferably Lily and James (Marauder Era, etc.) but anything, really, is fine.  
**Rating?** T, please.  
**Ship?** Lily and James preferably, but if you really want to, Sirius and Remus are cool too.  
**Genre?** Comedy.  
**Name Three things you'd like your fic to include:** A random leprechaun and a muffin.  
**Name Three things you DON'T want your fic to include:** Any slash other than Sirius and Remus, as they are the only halfway plausible slash couple. Oh, and seriousness. No drama, please?

I think I filled that pretty well, I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. This was fun.

R&R  
Live Fast Die Never


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